Late At Night

I am writing this in the time sequence it takes for "Early In The Morning" to play from start to finish two times. Apologies for abrupt finish but y'all should be used to it,

Jon has been thinking about the past year and a half I have been in the Denver metro area. All of the renewed friendships, new relationships. The renewed relationships, new relationships. Of course over analyzing and self reflecting like a 10 year-old trying to ask a crush out. And I realized something,

Jody is a perpetual 10 year-old trying to ask a crush out,

Not the actual action but rather meeting new people in a intellectual capacity, romantic capacity, gainz capacity, professional capacity. It's like a GIF of me calling Big KAT or Cousin Skeeter to hype me up so they can say what I want to hear. And also what I don't want to hear,

When Jon meets new people there's multiple emotions; I feel isolated and confused and irritated and annoyed but then I feel energetic and hopeful and honestly bashful like a Taylor Swift meeting her next victim, Jon meant partner. There is no in-between when Jody meets people that are expected to have a significant part in my life. 

To be honest, I thought it was weird and exceptionally excessive how I've been towards anything and everything. Whether it be selling my entire 1,200 basketball card collection for a Nintendo DS Lite when I was 12 or telling someone upon meeting them for the first time "we are probably going to be besties forever" and wholeheartedly meaning it or making a 75-year plan on how major events in Jon's life will unfold or convincing thee Nupes they can't shoulder shimmy for shit.

Like I am not lonely, I am alone; not a reference to me being single or not being near my Tier 1s. Don't get me wrong, Jon has the best family and friend network of all time; the Jons will always have unconditional love and a place to stay. 

But I'm from the south and now Jonny lives in Colorado; my physical, day-to-day network is not established. There are no Tier 1s, family members, monogamy, etc. There's this revolving door to this dingy hotel of new friendships/relationships and I am standing in the lobby taking the effort to make a new fresh casserole for every single person I make eye contact with. I know I have few half marathons under my belt but even Jody gets exhausted until depletion. I'm tired, we all are. I'm not tired of meeting new people, I am tired of giving everybody 100% of my energy (shout-out to my outgoing introverts). And it's my problem I have to deal with sooner rather than lter

It is crazy because one would think these thoughts would unfold late at night with a tin of gin that would make Jonny Boy feel like I'm a kid again. Which honestly, with this mindset, may come with a fabricated depreciation of one's self,

I went over my time limit.

The Gap Band's "Early in The Morning" is a reference to the love/lust relationships as well as me literally always being up early in the morning .