No Small Talk

A brief collection of significant events with brief descriptions comprising of Jon, Jonny Boy, Jonathan, and JODY. 

It's February 9th, 2019, 68 degrees on a Wednesday at 1:10pm. 

"Get up, Jon"

I'm in a feeble-fetal position in front of a place JODY steals company time from Monday-Friday. Plaid shirt, khakis, and some Clarks. A young human who has swapped multiple ideas about mutual concerns is telling me to get up off the ground, as I believed it was my subconscious. This is the first time JODY feels fear and being afraid. First time JODY saw myself as lonely and couldn't dance out of this one to throw people off. The understanding is that all of the Jons were all absent and an empty vessel had existed; void of any emotional, intellectual, or physical control for about 5 minutes. 5 minutes is too long for someone like me to reboot in a space like that. 5 minutes of me doing the limbo in limbo. No Jon, Jonathan, JODY, Jonny Boy, Jon-Jon, Jonny Nyles. No Jonny Bravo, Jon-117, Jon Hamm, Jon Heder, Black Jon, Jon Whitey, Jon Bender, H. Jon Benjamin, Long Jon, Lil' Jon. No InhumanJuvyJon, JuvyJon, Jon Lapel, King Jon, Jon The Prince, Jon with No 'H", Jonny Appleseed, Jon The Ruler, JonJammerJimmer. 

Just me.

--

"Hey, I need to talk to you" 

It's 2017, mid-October. Beautiful morning.

I don't wait for a response, as Jonny Boy opens the door with a feeble push. There's little to no indication that a conversation is about to initiate. I peek up at the other human who is perched up on a raised bed in the 10" x 10" room, caressing a white controller and painstakingly tapping buttons to avoid immediate virtual death, only to be reanimated again. I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor. She does not down at me until Jonny Boy says the magic words. Her gaze is turned aggressively from the screen to my five-head because my eyes are still locked into my twiddling thumbs. But you know Jonny Boy did look up eventually. It was my least favorite gaze from another person by far. I mean I did not want to go, but I had to leave. Part of the journey is the end, right? Leave everybody you love and like and people you built a relationship with because Jonathan spontaneously pops up and reminds everybody it's apart of the plan. 

The plan sucks sometimes, but I made the plan.

--

"Hey,"

It's November or December in 2013 a cool evening, I think. Jon tried to blurred out dates when I was younger.

I'm talking to him, trying to understand why Jon got a light 'Hey' as opposed to a more aggressive, assertive tone in his voice, like normal. Jon is walking at my normal, flamboyant pace from class to the shuttle for a playoff game again Pike. All the Jons hate Pike. The phone call is a slight inconvenience to my pregame playlist of Two Door Cinema Club & J. Cole but I pick up. There is a 3-minute long monologue; some mumbo-jumbo of a 10% chance of survival, life-saving surgery, whatever. There's a quick affirmation that I will see him soon, and Jon walks onto the court with a feeble pace, pausing the conversation. First play of the game, Jon steals the ball ,dribbles down court, and dribbles all of the way out of bounds without the ball leaving his hands. Jon gives the ball to the ref and tells his players to sub him out. 

-- 

"I don't want to play anymore"

It's late summer 2010, dusk and the street lamps just turning on. 

I'm standing beside an older gentlemen staring at the ground. I'm starting to cry all over my basketball warm-ups, as we are standing behind a 2002 Ford Explorer. This man, who asked me a simple question, waits patiently as Jonathan responds with a feeble tone. This is the first of my knowledge that Jonathan expressed any emotions or feelings to a man has lived with him for many years. A man that help create him, clothe him, give him resources. All of the life lessons, jokes, long car rides. A man who sometimes scared Jonathan as I would try to tiptoe past his room to not bother him. A man that Jonathan never tried to establish a relationship with but Jon begin to throw lines out too, eventually getting a nibble.