Weak In The Knees

I was running this one time.

I had my two boys Astro & Snoopy, running on one of those warm yet icy mornings in Denver. Astro always pushing. Snoopy always having to be pulled. We had started on our route back, towards Holly Street. By that time, I had finished mapping out the entirety of Denver's city. So best believe I knew where I was going, at all times. Except for one time. We had come to a stop. Well I had stopped. Snoopy had stopped. Astro had stopped. But then Astro went. Then Snoopy went. And unbeknownst to me, I guess I was going too. 

I had been dragged along the pavement for 0.05 miles of our run, actually increasing our pace by 7 or 8 seconds probably. They had only stopped because they were getting choked by trying to drag a 200 pounds worth of Jon. Luckily I only lost a decent amount of skin on my elbow and  my face only got a few pebbles. I had looked up at them after my first dog sledding venture, and they impatiently sat down on their rumps, growling at me to stand upright.. Waiting for me to regain my composure.

Astro & Snoopy were two overgrown weimaraners that outweighed me by a few pounds. They were strong, intelligent, loving, and clumsy dogs. Astro was slightly bigger and actually pushed me to do 5:30 pace with him when alone. Snoopy just wanted to go for a walk and talk about what garbage he ate. Two of the worst running duos out of the 40 dogs I ran but they despised being separated. And who was I to separate two 100 pound dogs from one another?

It took me over 3 months to train Astro & Snoopy to turn at the right time. If we didn't turn at the right time, Astro goes at at right angle and Snoopy would go straight and I'm on the ground. Every morning I saw them, they clawed at the door ( I could literally hear them from inside my door trying to break down the walls to tackle me) and normally destroyed something in the house do to them being aloof.

But the two years I was their lackey I completed over 60 sessions, 250 miles, and unsolicited wrestle time of over a hour. I saw them twice a weak. They got excited every time my car even pulled up. They showered with kisses like I wasn't ever coming back. Until I didn't and for the first time in two years, on my last run, they tried to bite me when I tried to hug them. They knew. They knew that they were my best friends.

Revenge of the Jon: Dennis Rodman's Bodega Pt. 4

I think a lot of the times I think I am the sh*t but also I am a sh*t.

The name "Jonathan Nyles Whiting" often shortened to "Jon Whiting" is like the whole wheat bread of who I am that encases all of the meats, veggies, condiments. And it has been a good name to me, no matter who generic. Whenever I hear it from other people's mouths, Jonny feels good about it. It's not too crazy of a nomenclature but it gets the job done,

Yesterday Jon had my 18th run in Wyoming for the #runningjonchallenge. I had been feeling well about everything and the weather and atmosphere was perfect for me to get my sub-19 minute 5k. But the night before Jonny had drunk two beers, slept 4 hours that night, and didn't eat food the morning of. And for the first time since Boston in 2017, I stopped running during a race. Just didn't want to run anymore, stopped around the 2.3 mile mark. Only had to run 5 more minutes at that pace to get my post-college PR. But I stopped on the curb, teary eyes glued to the pavement, Jay-Z blasting through my headphones, hands on hips. Angry. To keep in mind I finished 8:20/mile pace and walked the entire last mile. All the way from the finish line to the Capitol Building.

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When I started this challenge a few years ago, my goal was to run in every state before Jon turns 35 years-old. It was started from excitement, eagerness, and to fill a void. I lived in Portsmouth, Virginia and taught at a school and area I hated. Yes I mean hated. After the realization that "I didn't want to die sad in this sad place" this challenge was birthed. At that point in my life, I had only been out of college for a year and that 'glass half-empty' mentality was creeping in. Was Jon supposed to teach for 30 years then exist above this garage apartment saturated with roaches and owned by two Trump supporters who drunk Coors light all day? What do you tell a big-eyed 23 year-old at that point?

And it's been a miracle from that point; not just this challenge but my overall demeanor change back to wonderment of a child. I've been more intentional with almost every person and almost everything Jon does. Of course I have setbacks such as my Wyoming race. I did talk about with my mother and brother over our group chat. Like my Boston race, my mind was not invested in it.

Since July 2018, JODY has run in California, South Carolina, Michigan, Ohio, Wyoming, Nebraska, New Mexico, and Colorado. In to put into thought of me mentally preparing for this one thing for a few months with the anxiety I carry all the way through the race; the finances into transportation, lodging, racing fees; physically just pushing my body to finish at a certain time; it honestly does hurt. And if I am not putting in 100% effort into then ultimately I can't 100% enjoy it.

Now this is a challenge, challenges have setbacks. It won't be this exponential amazing time all the time. It's going to hurt, it's going to be difficult. But the support I've gotten from friends, family, and the Jons has been worth it. Jon was too proud to use a GoFundMe since it's not a life or death situation but link is at the bottom of the page. Can't do this alone. And aye, almost at halfway point, 9 years left. Let's get it,


GoFundMe: https://www.gofundme.com/f/runningjonchallenge&rcid=r01-156234321375-3cc8d2ae194d49d8&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/gentrifiedcornbread/

Writing this entry while listening to "Under the Sun" by Dreamville Records has put me in a good mood.

I'll Probably Never Let You Go

It is 7 o'clock on a Saturday morning. The sun peaks over a handful of clouds. Slight breeze. Around 47 degrees. Slight possibility of rain this evening. 

There's an old lady staring at me as, I obnoxiously talk on the phone with Big KAT. I'm sitting on the hood of my '06, hollerin' and keke'n' like I'm at a '98 Def Comedy Jam headlined by Bruce Bruce. If you have ever seen me talk on the phone, you're missing out. It is a parade of me doing forward folds, half splits, two-stepping, cleaning things that do not need to be cleaned, punching myself in various spots on my torso, shoulder shimmies, for the most part.

But today I'm just sprawled out on my car in the middle of a parking lot of Planet Fitness on Lakeside. On one side of the gym is a PetCo; I sometimes quickly go in to use the bathroom before I run down West 44th Avenue. Straight down to Sunnyside and back. Or down Tennyson and 29th. and back up Sheridan. Depending on if I want to make a straight line or a parallelogram. 

However for now I am now pacing in a calm frantic around my car, like I am running away from brother after I threw a ball in his face.

 (after I threw the thing)

* 7 year-old me (who hasn't been punched yet): Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow

11 year-old JW: I haven't hit you yet

7 year-old me: AWWWRGJSSJDNSKDJDSKDJ

11 year-old JW: Forget it,

7 year-old me: 😀

11 year-old JW: (body slams me)

I am fairly tired on this point in the conversation, Big KAT has been talking for 45 minutes about getting her liver removed or whatever, and I am only half listening at this point. I reminisce about sitting on a park bench on front campus beside her. Didn't know who or what or if she was. Started talking to her about whatever. Must've been for 2 hours. Don't know why she didn't leave,

I forget that all of my best friends in college through an aggressively unique way: 

Sandy- starred at her from two rows back in Chemistry I for 3 weeks straight, bought her food from the school cafeteria for 2 months until I ran out of meal swipes a month before that semester ended,

Jamal - after a freshmen writing class, I asked him to eat with some friends of mine in which he told me he was already eating with some friends. They were the same friends.

Cousin Skeeter - well, he's my cousin

Beanie Baby - after going to the gym multiple times, she told me my hair was trash but offered to style it for free. I reluctantly accepted as I had no money or clippers to do anything with it,

Renny - the last two months of college, everybody was gone. I asked her to go to Salamander Springs Farm on an outing randomly as she dated my then boy crush and wanted to get to know her. Became my #1 confidant post-college.

I always thought it to be interesting that everybody was given a nickname by Jon. It is how I manage things. Ever since I was in middle school I was obsessed with alter egos based on abstract nomenclature. But I rarely call people by my nicknames for them. Wait, hold up.

Jonny Boy: Hey KAT I gotta' go,

KAT: Whaa-

Jon: I HAVE TO PEE

KAT: Okay, you don't have to yell

Jonathan: Have a wonderful day ma'am

"Some Girl" by Goldlink ft. Steve Lacy has been the got-to for elevating my mood whenever I'm down,

Dance Party on a Tuesday Morning

Recently I moved out of my parent's Richmond home and relocated to the port city of Portsmouth. Haven't posted much in the past month due to this transition. There's something about moving out of your parent's home and beginning a new job in a new city with crippling student loans that will keep a Jon on edge.

BUT

Of course there are the runs (not those runs) that keep my emotions and thoughts stable as I began my adult life $58,000 in debt. I live in a nice neighborhood; my landlords cook me dinner every once in a while. Charted out a nice route to run before work (4:30 am cardio sessions are a bit of an adjustment) which leaves me passed out by 8 or 9 at night. Been running about 25+ miles/week along with upping my weight training back to 3 times a week. My fitness goals goals right now is to get down to 195 FOREVER. Maybe getting in a marathon by November. Knowing that my mom's showstopper meals will help me keep off the pounds.

Source: giphy

There's the subject of running and exercise that I talk about when it comes to being me staying mentally and physically complete. But without positive/distract(ive) reinforcement of music, I wouldn't be able to get far. As stated earlier, I run based off those feelings of uncertainty. Morning before a big final? Run. Stepping back into a state of depression? Run. About to ask a Nubian Princess out? Run. Evening before a new DC/Marvel movie coming out that has mixed reviews? Run. Just had a bad race? RUN! My anxiety levels peak over the simplest of tasks, and the little things I do can counteract those negative aspects go a long way.

How does an emotional bastard even get up before an exam go for a 45-minute run? Wouldn't that add more frustration? What's the incentive? For one, Running groups are great for people. Finding a good paced group and hanging out with new people while discussing a whole spectrum of topics is great.. Unfortunately for me I'm in a weird spot. I'm not exactly a casual runner but I'm not align with someone who does a marathon in 2:30 hours. I also only run before or after the sun sets due to strict personal preference. That's where the beats, rhythms, and rhymes come in.

My running playlist is as highly maintained as my running shoes. I'm constantly swapping out songs weekly and painstakingly on the hunt for good songs. Some people listen to audiobooks on racial diversity or listen to scientific journals or informative podcasts. Most people listen to upbeat or energetic songs that keep them at a certain rate of intensity during a workout. The emotion may be empowering or techno-y. I definitely have that type of music on my playlist, but I have a mix of emotions. Songs can be menacing and Debby-downers or songs can match the intensity of a RATM mosh pit. A song I can listen to that makes me cry over a romantic movie soundtrack can as easily be in my playlist as a song by The Black Eyed Peas. The common theme is tempo. Whether it's half-time or full-time; that beat has to be in alignment with my stride. In addition ot has to grab my emotions and I need my imagination to capture the song. I need to be consumed by it or the song has to be scrapped. It's not a technical as it seems. Here's an explanation of my current top 4 running songs.

Get Away

The Internet
A break-up song about a couple who want to go on a trip but their relationship is too turbulent to even leave the house together. This neosoul-indie mixed with R&B-infused group is backed by a persistent bass that keeps my running tempo high. The guitar melody gently covers the singer's voice that keeps a serene atmosphere.

My emotion: Relaxed. It feels as though I go back-and-forth between drinking warm milk and vibing out in a small club with a few close friends.

They Reminisce Over You (T.R.O.Y.)

Pete Rock & C.L. Smooth
This early '90s hip-hop group samples some jazz using a saxophone and upright bass that helps the rapper effortlessly spit lyrics about past family members and friends. It reminds me of why hip-hop is my favorite genre, as I am fully invested in hearing this story I've heard over thousands of times over the past two decades.

My emotion: Nostalgic. The song came out around the time I was born. A lot of my earliest memories come from hearing this played in the background of my initial thoughts as a toddler. 

Paint It Black
The Rolling Stones

This song hits me right in the face whenever it plays. It overwhelms with this psychedelic, almost melancholy feeling. But with enough aggressiveness to where if I was at a funeral, I would immediately want to kick the ass of the person who murdered a loved one. Even if cancer killed them. I normally have no business listening to '60s rock music, but this song aligns right into a mood I rarely try to feel. Which is...

My emotion: Anger. This song puts me in delightfully angry mood. It's as though I'm warming up my car to go to work. But I drive a 1968 Plymouth Road Runner Hemi. And I need the avenge the death of my father. (He's still alive right now but just saying)

Radio Ladio

Metronomy
This indie-electronic band is one of the few bands I keep up with on a regular basis. During a time I despised the existence of electronic music, this group combined the up-tempo rhythm with a repetitive but ever-changing-melody. It's hard to explain, due to the fact I lose my mind every time it pops up.

My emotion: Enthusiastic. I first heard this song on a video game and instantly begin irritating like a inebriated barista. 

source: lolworthy

Thanks for reading! Share if you would like. Here's the URL of my everchanging playlist on Spotify. Or you can search it. It's called Loretta Devine.

https://open.spotify.com/user/1216617677/playlist/2giHCRxBZbSxeipvcGqBGB

A Fat Boy's Guide to Running*

Recently, I ran my first 10K (6.2 miles) this past Saturday in Richmond, Virginia. This event is the annual Ukrop's Monument Avenue Race, with almost 25,000 participants on a gusty Saturday morning. With a posted time of 39:46, I was disappointed in my quest for a 37-minute PR. I failed to live up to the expectations of my CW Flash t-shirt; in all actuality should have not been worn unless I had a legit chance of running this race in the sub-35. Not 35 minutes but in 35 seconds. Or maybe 3.5 seconds,

Anywhoooooooooooooooo, I thought of something. A thought, plucked from the dusty cabinets of my corner office from a company that's owned by Delhaize. I wanted to jot it down on a notepad, but then again it would probably be good to finish this race first. But during that brief moment of inexplicable pain from my thighs and the pain from letting Wally West down, there was a theory. The Theory of Why?

This is the 1st race my uncle and I have completed together. According to him it'll be the last

Why am I running this race?
Why do I feel happy that my uncle is here in this self-elected suffering?
Why did that girl not to go to the middle school dance with me?

Enter: 5 Philosophies I have about Exercise. As a self-described extreme fitness-minimalist and semi-narcissist, I compiled my own list of reasons why running has stayed in my routine. Why did I list 5 reasons? Because I love the number 5 dammit. Now these aren't thee set of guidelines for an extreme fitness-minimalist/semi-narcissist, these are my guidelines for an extreme fitness-minimalist/semi-narcissist.


1. Food I don't want to imagine the amount of food I swallow on a daily basis. Yes, I said swallow. I don't chew. The food quantity may be high but so is the quality. Not a fan of salads, but I veggie boast all of my meals. Grilled cheese sandwich? Sprinkle some spinach leaves and sweet peppers in that thang with flax seed bread. Generic box-pasta dinner? Take all the veggies, yes all of them and throw it in. Minus the left foot.

Source: Tumblr

I do eat out 1-2 times a week because I am firm on the belief of "treating yo' self." I have no idea what a cheat meal is to be honest. Cooking in bulk for two or three days definitely turns me off from getting cardboard pizza from Lil' Caesar's. But I will consume cardboard pizza from Lil' Caesar's.

2. Schedule My daily agenda always incorporates exercise. Whether I'm sweating or not. I keep a general schedule of going to the gym or doing yoga or running because that's what I programmed myself to do. Do I want to exercise this much? Hell no. There's no specific routine I follow; I don't time myself on my runs or log how many sit-ups I do. On certain days, I will go to gym and hangout or just put on workout clothes but watch SportsCenter. And leave.

So this doesn't mean I'll peer review scientific journal articles on an elliptical. At the height of my workload in college (18 credits), I would spend no more than 45 minutes exercising. Most people halt their Pilates session due to cramming for an exam their undoubtedly going to fail or a hangover from one too many St. Ives at Snoop Lion's house. But that time was blocked out, due to my...

3. Emotions 30-minutes a day. 5-6 times a week. I'm a fervent little shrew. If I'm not doing a violent movement or activity every day, I'm extremely irritable. Never been able to figure out why. If I don't release that energy onto a tangible structure then it is as though someone told the ill-est yo' momma' joke and it will pester me the whole day. It's only a brief amount of brief amount of agony.

Source: Tumblr

4. Breaks 30-minutes a day. 5-6 times a week. But not every week. I'll take a break due to food comas, exhaustion, laziness, revamping my entire existence, etc. It's important to know your limitations. You don't have to go Dwayne Johnson or Sarah Paulson's tempo. Take your time; reward yourself and your temple. It's the only one you have, normally.

5. Music I don't know how people get through a workout and not listen to Flava Flav blaring in your ear. Do they enjoy the potential cramps and shortness of breath and dizzy spells without a little Shakira to move their tailfeather? Or maybe Daft Punk isn't enough to help them to do that yoga? Perhaps Katy Perry doesn't have enough hot sauce in her veins (swag)?

I could go on all day, but music one of the biggest reasons I can get through 4 sets of push-up rows. How it can help me finish that last 400 meters. Or breakdance when hitting that downward dog. A personal preference that has been plenty essential to round out my philosophies.

As a recent fan of CW's The Flash, I decided to rock it with my ever-present zebra headband

No matter how terrible a race or how upset I am with myself for any reason or how much I don't want to do what I need to do, there's always one thing that is constant. One thing to look forward to. I may go about it an alternative way, but I am still able to reap the bounty.

Like a saying I overheard in a conversation outside a middle-Georgia Bar between two Donald Trump Supporters:

There's more than one way to skin a cat

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*The reason for the title is because "technically" I am considered overweight for my age and height.