Handwritten Letters to Aaliyah

I don’t have a lot to say much these days. Like every human, just tired like a single mom who works part time at FedEx Kinkos. 

I have been sitting down, having those conversations about laugh and how to make sure things don’t just “happen” to me moving forward. It’s been sad to just feel old and weak because that’s not who I am.

I’m someone who is always ready and happy to be existing as myself. This charismatic , joyful dude. Yeah, I’m dragging my feet every once in a while but that’s not me in general. I still have that huge desire to get amped and spontaneously make dance videos. I like it, I love dancing and having people look at me funny.

If I’m not doing that, if I’m not doing me then it makes me sad. I feel sad some days. Sometimes. I wake up and feel like when John Witherspoon had to take a dump while he was stuck on the freeway 🛣️. Just sort of stuck in this rut. 

I have to stop referencing indie movies. It’s like focus features and A24 are the only things that drive my central core thinking. Have they even made a black film about a geek from the suburbs who was aware that he is a good lil’ negro who loved FUBU?

Yeah I can blame it on me rehabbing my knee and and not controlling my vices well. I can blame it on my time in Denver or my energy depleting careers. But like Udonis HASLEM , I’m done yet. Probably should relax a little 

But it’s important to note , I’m not done yet. YET. I’m not sorry about certain things I say or do nor I regret it. The only apology I owe myself is to not do these things again. If I don’t do them again then there’s nothing more to say to people I hurt. Not like their opinions aren’t valid but what’s the point of being upset? Well I can be JODY all I want but I’m still Jonathan Whiting. The boy who befriended the weird kids and then got called a weird kid.

As I write my short stories, poems, and rants in this blog please be mindful: 

Man , EJ Pryor and Palco owe me an apology. Im sure they forgot about me and are existing their lives. But like an elephant, I always get my Tostitos,