Cornrbead Colored Lightsabers

I know some humans who can  make you do whatever they want you to do.

I know a young alien who wanted to believe but couldn't.

I know a moon that could destroy a planet in three minutes.

I know a girl who didn't follow in her family's footstep.

I know some droids who had more heart than most humans.

I know a guy who had the devil on one shoulder and an angel on the other and let both of them speak equally.

I was 9 when I saw my first space opera. It was filled with some white people and aliens and a whole bunch of crazy lights. I was mesmerized and filled with anguish, hope, betrayal, and an awakening. That trend would continue on for 17 more years, well, at least 17 more years. 

All of the games, movies, shows, plastic lightsabers, comic cons, metal lightsabers, 'Duel of the Fates' on repeat. The space wizards and shoot outs and improbable hyper-speed jumps and that-one-black-guy-per-trilogy-who-has-a-66%-chance-of-being-a-traitor had me by its force grip. I was hooked, or force hooked? I wanted to be a force wielder. I wanted the powers, death, despair, older chicks hitting on me, a long flowing mane, an ability to fly apparently every ship inherently, yellow eyes---a sword-shaped flashlight. It was all I ever wanted. At least I thought for a while.

I grew up, went to middle school then summer school then high school then college then early adulthood. I thought it was over after that boy lost his limbs back in '07. But it was only the beginning. As I got older, adults, adults showed up wearing robes, reenacting prominent battles, pulling open automatic doors without even touching them! How is that even possible?

I wanted to be that, I wanted to be a hero. And a villain. And an antihero. And a senator since it seems so easy. The powers were amazing but at the same time, I just wanted the honor to be apart of something huge. Yeah I want glitter to manifest from out my fingernails, but having all life work in unison and granting specific organisms the ability to manipulate an entire network of particles seemed attainable and believable. Maybe I can't bring down a cheese-shaped ship that's longer than a billion Tostitos but why not trust in the force? It's the basis of all my beliefs. Why can't that ideal mean something more than just what you find in a comic book or a tv show,

It sucks though because people like me haven't been represented well in something that has been so monumental in my childhood. I mean, even the aliens haven't had much representation (why are there SO many white people throughout all of these galaxies?!) but it's how I live my professional, spiritual, intellectual, and physical. Not as a man who is all good or all evil, but in the grey area until I receive 100% synchronization with wherever my opera takes me.