Sunday, June 23, 2019

The Last Black Superhero In Arvada

I don’t think it’s fair to rule out the possibility of superpowers in today’s modern world. The preconceived notion that it’s only found in comic books or blockbuster movies seems ignorant at times to a Jonny. Because I’ve see these powers before, I feel them,


After an afternoon nap, I had this dream where I sleeping in my own bed and I woke up. All of my Christmas lights were on and handful of people I know were standing in my living room. Around all of us were paintings and drawings and writings that I created as a child until present day. Even though I don’t illustrate anymore, JODY saw one of my more prominent works as a child.

It was a picture of my friends Alex and Matt along with me going against our common enemy (John with a “H”.) Alex was in a green cape, I was in a red cape, and my friend Matt was in a purple cape. I remember I drew Matt’s face with a slight grimace, but not sure why. It was though I wasn’t sure about him,


Ever since Jon was a young Jon, everything was this epic or graphic novel of sorts. My friends, my identity, my family, church, going to school, making food; it’s as though every scene or scenario gave off this huge aura or vibe. As solid or as bright as Christmas lights. Everything to me had its own place in this eternal journey. Well at least in my head so it seems. Everything must be drawn and fleshed our to me. Like it had to be extra. And what did I do with all of this information?

First of all not a Jonny, Jon, JODY, nor Jonathan was the hero in my own narrative. I was the narrator narrating everybody else’s epic climax (nice one Jon). But forealla, all of the friends who were heroes or bullies who were villains or friends that turned out to be villains, was described on paper. Whether it be illustrating or writing, every thing had to be documented. Everything essentially had its own purpose. 

This is also reflected in my own self-reflective nature, yes, right, absolutely. So whenever something happened in Jon’s everyday life to one of the protagonists, it would often intercept my energy levels and I would often figure out how to correct it. Because that’s the job of a narrator I feel like sometimes and that’s the job of a friend. I think,

And the powers that everyone encompasses has a range. My friend Jamal has the ability to serenade anyone with in 100 feet with his classical guitar. My friend Abby can redirect any opposing threat with a few choice words. Big KAT can lower anyone’s emotional or intellectual shields to make them vulnerable with a willingness to share almost anything with her. Beanie Baby’s ergh, baby has to beginnings of showing great strength at a young age, the physical stature of a brick wall almost. 

What are my powers? Depends on whatever my narrator gives me,

Monday, June 17, 2019

When My Papa Says Grace

Love ain’t for sale, well at least not the love I’m talking about
No, Love is free
Love is giving you the big piece of fried chicken, even though I could write you a 10-page research paper with works cited in APA format on how much I wanted that big piece of fried chicken
Love is knowing you will always been there when I need you
Love is calling you every Mother’s Day even if you didn’t birth me
Love is pulling me inside your house because it’s about to rain
Love is putting me on the program as the headliner, even though you knew I shouldn’t be allowed to be around a microphone in public
Love is never, ever, never taking off your #teamcrawley wristband even though there’s green mold starting to accumulate on your wrist
Love is what Christians are supposed to do
Love is what got me and my father through the fourth quarter of 2013,
Love is embracing that one cousin or one auntie you may not know very well with hugs, with their arms as bony as Skeletor or as big as Mean Joe Green, trying to figure out how in the hell would I know you from when you changed my diaper when I was 6 months old,
Love is taking you to school when you pretend to miss the bus in the morning even if I’m not too fond of your extracurricular activities
Love is that initial slow clap of rain, hitting a lonely tin roof with a slow pitter-patter in a small town in middle Georgia.
Love is not berating your grandson because he puts sugar on his grits
Love is easy
Love is good,
Love is great
Love is God, God is great
Love is a mutual attraction on site like a covalent bond between some hydrocarbons that can be your fuel through the day
But hydrocarbons are volatile
Love is volatile
Love is hard
Love is as ubiquitous as Everybody Loves Raymond and is as meandering as Everybody hates Chris
Love is rough,
Love is lead,
Love is nasty, spits out sulfuric acid, dissolving skin and bones
Love can be Christmas in the morning and Halloween at night,
Love is bland
Like, like, like that one Auntie who does not know how to season chicken
Love is a colorless, odorless gas that may keep you in eternal slumber
But love is asking if you made it home last night.
Love is me calling you back that I made it home last night.
Love is when I’m crying because you never made it back home last night. And you probably won’t again tonight
Love is cousin Sonia still checking up on me even though I evaded her hugs for 15 years
Love is cousin Allie Mae giggling and running away whenever I try to pick her up
Love is cousin Brandon buying me a PBR even though I didn’t want another PBR
Love is Audrey interrogating me about the last time I ate
Love is throwing the ball at my brother’s head whenever we played pick-up games and still talking to each other by the time dinner is over
Now love is something I have taken for granted
Like flipping on a light switch and expecting lights to come on or my Papa taking a hour to say grace
These are things that are SUPPOSED to happen
But not everybody has electricity, not everyone has a Papa was pageantry
Not everybody knows what it’s like to be loved by some receding hairline folks from South Boston
But I do, and I hope everyone else here knows what I speak of
That’s love
Now ask me about hate?
I ain’t got time for that
I don’t need to listen to K-Dot to know that Team Crawley is gon’ be alright
Because I’ve seen love in my Papa’s eyes as well as his three big-headed children.

Love is all I got,


Image result for treat em right
"Tream 'Em Right" by Chubb Rock has always been one of the songs that get my focused and strong for the day

Sunday, June 9, 2019

A Single White Mom With A New Magic Wand

I ran a 5k with my family last thanksgiving. My parents, Big KAT, JW, and His lady.
I finished first, ran back to finish with my brother, ran back to finish with my father, ran back to finish with Big KAT, ran back to finish with Holli & Momma.
I was so happy to see black people (+1 Mayo) together and being active and healthy. Not a cookout, funeral, family lecture, candlelight vigil, day drinking, school hearing. Just some fucking niggers going for a fucking jog in fucking Bluffton, South Carolina

Why the fuck couldn’t we be doing this the entire fucking time throughout my entire fucking life. I’m over here trying to be fucking be carefree like a white 35 year-old mom stay-at-home/freelance necklace maker who’s off the grid and drinks fucking mimosas while Forest and Chet eat mayonnaise sandwiches 

Well Jon consider the following:
You’re not a 35 year-old mayo woman with two adorable little translucents,

Jon is the half black, half niggerish, half licorice, half don’t get a zit,
A heavily tattooed colored man from the south who runs more 5ks than an Asian from San Fran and teaches more yoga classes than a , uh, 35 year old white women with two kids(?)


I got a unicorn on my leg and niggas think I’m sweet like an episode of Doc McStuffins (oh my Jon that’s a huge compliment!)
But they the ones suckling down Arizona teas like a toddler when they need to be suckling the sweet teat of a Dasani bottle and fondling skittles while they need to be fondling some robust spinach and rutabaga 
I’ll work on those analogies later.
But I fell deep in the waters, 
I was trying to hydrate.
Like sometimes I’m am the shit or I’m just a shit.
Jon be making up excuses like ‘I’m just impulsive or ‘it’s the uncle curses’ 
When I really don’t even know those folk
People wonder how a Single Jo(h)n passed away but Golden Corral has a higher body count then some gangs around LA 
But who gives cares when heart disease didn’t take one of my former students or Tamir or Trayvon ,
Now they weren’t even old enough to earn a free timeshare in Williamsburg or sign off on field trip permission slips to the National Arboretum 
Now I’m reading this 14 year olds obituary the only thing more scary than Terry

And I wonder one day if they ever wanted to just run a 5k with their families in Bluffton, South Carolina